Going in, we knew it had flaws. It was old, it was creaky, there were cracks and gaps. No problem. The garage door was very low, the faucets old-fashioned. We can deal with that.
But it turns out to be worse. After moving all our shit I realize the garage is not only so low I have to remove my fucking antenna to get the car out again, it's only about 10cm wider than the car. With less than two inches on either side, and a long carport/trellis entry way and concrete pillars on both sides, my beautiful blue baby needs to be lubed up and the house sweet-talked into letting me in (or out) every time. It's nerve wracking.
Leaning into the shower to pick up something that had fallen, I leaned on the outside wall... And it pulled away from the base of the shower by nearly two centimetres. It leaks so much and has for so long that the floor beneath it has rotted, and there's a hand-sized hole under the shower.
The bathroom sink has two faucets and two taps so it's impossible to run warm water. You have to fill the basin and splash.
The laundry tub next to it has two taps and a single faucet, but you can't use that for washing your face 'cause it's attached to the washing machine. Lest you think you can simply get a splitter, the faucet and the tap both leak, all the time.
There are carpet nails underfoot when you leave the bedroom. Ouch.
Some windows have security screens, to our insurer's delight. Some don't, which I didn't notice.
There's a massive hole under the house where anyone could get into the garage/crawlspace. I had planned to fix this myself, but now I'm not sure if I want to bother. And last night I would swear someone was shaking the garage door at 4:30am, but investigation revealed nothing amiss. Possums, perhaps, dropping branches on the carport.
In any event, I'm gutted. As if the move (one I was forced to make 'cause the old owner was selling out) wasn't stressful enough, now I can't even shower (Did I mention the fucking shower nozzle's chest high?) or shave or do laundry properly. Sure they can fix all the taps, but what about the floor? I'd be happy if they did all that, but what about the goddamned garage?
So we're looking for another place, less than 3 days after moving into this one.