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Author name #1
Member since Nov 2007 · 121 posts
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Subject: M-m-m-multi-rant!
In ascending order of fuckyouness (imo)

1) Rudeness ordering food - We have a place here in the UK called Eat. They do nice sandwiches and now it's autumn/winter they've been doing some pretty funky soups too. They have two soups a day, one called simple (like tomato, or creamy chicken), one called bold (with bits in, like a ghoulash or chunky vegetable). Having 'simple' and 'bold' makes things very easy to order and produce on the production line especially as busy times like lunch. All fine so far, but when I go in and order my soup I have some manners i.e. "large tomato soup, please". What I don't like is that by making things simple, in an area of an already rude city in an already rude country, the City itself, it only encourages people to come in and fart "BIG BOLD" at the foreign behind the counter. Not even a please. Why don't people have any fucking manners? The people who make and serve your food, who incidentally are also some of the lowest paid workers in society, should be treated with the utmost respect. Without food, you can't live. If you piss them off, you may get more than just food in your food. Try saying please every now and then, it doesn't hurt.

2) Interfering with my sandwich - Yesterday, as the in-house restaurant is cheaper than any of the outside options, I decided I'd have a bacon sandwich for breakfast, so I went downstairs, buttered my own bread (yeh, really, they'll only do half the job), went to the 'hot' (a god damn lie, the bacon was stone fucking cold) food counter, handed my bread over and asked for a bacon sandwich with two slices of bacon and tomato sauce ("please"). The woman picked up some tongs, collected the bacon from the hot/cold plate, placed them on one slice of bread and spread tomato sauce on the other. OK so far, right? She then proceeded to (with gloved hands which makes it at least hygienic, but no less fucking annoying) pull bits off the slices of bacon that are outside the bounds of the edge of the bread and rearrange it so that it fits inside the slice. What. The. Fuck? Leave that shit alone! So eventually after she'd finished fucking around with it, instead of two slices of bacon I ended up with the two round bits and about 8 little scraps from where she'd pulled it apart trying to make it fit. She finally asked if I wanted it cut and I clearly said "no, thank you" to which she said ok and then cut it in half. A bacon sandwich is a thing of joy and beauty, but not when it's been interfered with and is stone cold. I'll be paying a premium for a hot one made how I like next time. Two slices of bacon already fit in a sandwich, it's the ideal quantity. Don't fuck with my sandwich.

3) Personality testing for employment purposes - Someone not too far away from me has been offered a new job pending entry tests. Nothing wrong with that, apart from the interview process it does occasionally help to know someone's strengths and weaknesses with English, Maths, that sort of thing. I can just about put up with someone asking me to do verbal reasoning tests too (head is to hat as hand is to cat/car/glove/anus) although if you've already interviewed me and have seen my CV and have asked me to come back for the next phase of the interview, you really should have a fairly good idea whether I'm suitable for the job. Anyway, one of these entry tests is called the personality test and runs along the lines of "Tick in the column for the entry that most applies to you and cross the one that least applies". The options are things such as "I have a large circle of friends", "I get frustrated easily", "I like to know how things work" and "I like sunny days best". What. The. Fuck? As I already said, if you've seen my CV, interviewed me, are happy that I can do the job and I've passed your basic requirements for English, Maths and anything else that is actually relevant, you can damn well give me the job. What is this personality test bullshit? So you can tell if I'm "your sort of person"? That's what an interview's for. If you actually put some effort into your interviewing instead of having a 15-minute interview conveyor belt, you'd be able to pick the right person for the job. What's this data going to be used for? They're very insistent that it can't be used to make a decision on your employment and that the data won't be passed on to anyone else, so as far as I'm concerned they have no right to fucking well ask me questions that appear to be irrelevant to the interview process. I'm here for a job, not to join the Scientologists. America did this originally in the '40s to filter out recruits that would be susceptible to shell-shock. OK, but this isn't a war, it's a job which I'm qualified to do.
When I next have an interview, if they ask me to take one of these test, I'll push the boundaries by registering a preference not to take that test and see what they say. If they say that I must take the test, yet insist that the data isn't used for assessing my application for the job, then why do they need the information?
That's a big fat cross against personality testing from me, thanks. Fuck you.
"...either stop and think or fuck right off" (TheOutrider)
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