My Neighbors - NFGworld!

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-02-27, 00:17 #46

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In reply to post ID 1591

More drama next door tonight. I wish I could hear them more clearly, 'cause something incredibly curious happened there tonight and I'm just not sure what it was.

It starts off with dad screaming at JayJay to 'just go to bed' and then, out of nowhere, dad's crying. "It's dead, aw it's fucking dead. Why do you do this to me, Samantha? Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this to me?"

Then mom's freaking out at him, with no lead-up whatsoever, just full volume "Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck you, you fucking etc etc! You want a fight? You want a fight!?" <sound of hard smacking> "Fuck off! You don't respect me! You don't respect my family! No one in my family likes you! Go ahead and leave!"

And then seconds later car pulls up, as if it were waiting for a cue from two doors down. I think it picked up dad, and it was gone.

Then mom's screaming at the kids. "You think it's funny? You think it's funny to swear at your mom? You don't swear at your partner! It's not funny!" etc.

So... Who died? Did something die? Is that why dad was crying? Who picked him up? Why were they waiting? Is 'Samantha' mom's name?

Now mom's screaming. "Get out! Fuck off, you mother fucker! Fuck off! Get the fuck out! No one likes you!"

These people are awesome!

[Image: http://nfggames.com/system/arcade/special.php/b-d/bp-5/y-kof97/z-10/twit-1/.png]

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-03-06, 08:05 #47

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Subject: The Neighbors are insane.

The problem with my neighbors is that they're insane. Or retarded. Or, both!

Jayjay bursts out the back door stark naked after screaming at little Dylan, and after there was some serious thrashing and banging about inside the house. He's screaming, runs to the clothesline and grabs a blanket to wrap around himself.

Dad comes out, purple with rage, screaming at mom "Leave my kid alone! Leave my kid alone!" and mom yells back something about how he wouldn't let anyone do that to his mother, and dad's screaming over and over "you always gotta bring her name into it! You always gotta bring her name into it! She hasn't talked to you in 3 or 4 months, but you always gotta bring her name into it!" over and over, at least seven times.

Mom, meanwhile, is going off about all kinds of shit: dad shouldn't be sleeping around, dad shouldn't be talking about 'tina', dad shouldn't be protecting the kids, dad should go get another job, and a bunch of other stuff I couldn't understand as well. Their accents are so thick and lowbrow that I just can't make the words out much of the time.

I'm gonna be late for work 'cause of these nutjobs, but it's totally worth it. =)

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-03-09, 23:37 #48

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In reply to post #46

Mom was really mean to dad tonight. She was going off, loudly with her slack-jawed strine voice echoing off the houses down the road, about how he was just a terrible man. Dad was wailing, in tears, for a short while, then he left. She slammed the door so hard I thought the wall of her house would come down.

Dad, to his credit, never ever squeals the tires when he leaves. For all the world he's totally composed as he drives away.

JayJay now is outside screaming at mom 'let me iiin, let me in! mooom!' etc.

Last night they were arguing again, and dad dragged RayRay into it. "Tell her, RayRay, tell her I never did <something something>"

Moments later after she apparently gave the wrong answer, "Aww you don't know shit, RayRay!"

JayJay's still out there whimpering. It's all a con though, the kid hasn't got an honest bone in his body. He'll call out "mmooooooom! Open the doooor!" as if his life depends on it. With the next breath he's happily cajoling his dog to come closer "here boy! here boy!" and the next breath after that he's pleading with RayRay, his voice cracking with the strain as he bangs on the door "Rachael! Raaachael! MOOOOOM! Mooooommy...."

It's always the end of the world with him. Always.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-03-15, 11:29 #49

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Dad's freaking out, screaming and cursing non-stop, and for a change mom's not fighting against him. He's telling JayJay to get lost, telling mom they've gotta get rid of him. I dunno what he did, but dad yelled at him and chased him out of the house, out of the yard.

"No one loves you, JayJay! Fuck off up the road, we don't want you here!"

JayJay yells back "This is worth fifty fucking dollars!"

Dad says "Who gives a fucking shit?"

JayJay is tracing his hand along dad's car. "ARE YOU TOUCHING MY CAR!? Get away from my fucking car!"

JayJay, with only shorts and shoes and a hat (A fifty dollar hat?) is being banished to the park up the road, I guess, despite his well reasoned argument that "This is my fucking house! This is my fucking house! FUCK YOU!" etc etc.

Dad, of course, is having none of it.

Little Dylan is happy to relay the stories from inside the house. "Mom's laughing at you, JayJay. Mom's laughing at you."

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-03-22, 16:49 #50

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Dad just exploded at JayJay.

Dad: What the fuck do you think you're doing!?
JayJay: Fuck you!

JayJay runs outside, dad keeps yelling.

Dad: Take your fucking friends elsewhere, ya fucking cunt!
JayJay: Fuck you, ya fucking caaaant!

Dad: You don't need eight fucking pieces of bread!
JayJay: I'm fucking huuuungrryyyyyy. Moooom! I'm fucking hungryyyy! All I wanted was a fucking sandwiiich!

I guess JayJay had tried to prepare food for all his friends, or something? Weird.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-03-30, 18:24 #51

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Subject: Mom's yelling at JayJay...

JayJay was in the carport tonight, beating the shit out of something with a piece of lumber. Their back yard, normally quite nicely sorted and well maintained, is strewn with debris. Part of a bedframe, a demolished drawer, a cot. There's no shortage of weapons for JayJay, but I can't see what he's so eagerly annihilating.

Mom comes out and tells him to knock it off.

A minute later he's doing it again and mom tells him to fuck off. She's outside in the yard, yelling loud enough for everyone to hear "Fack off JayJay ya cant! I don't want you here! Fack off up ya park! You're not coming home to this yard tonight. Go away, JayJay!"

JayJay's screaming like she's dangling his favourite teddybear over a woodchipper. I dunno what she's doing but it does certainly seem as if there's a threat being made, for the noise he's making.

Fifteen minutes later JayJay's screaming at the door of the house "Let me fucking in! I'm fucking sorry! Mmoooooom! I'm fucking sooooorryy! Fuck off RayRay! I'm Soooooory! You fucking bitch, I'm sorry!" etc etc. I swear, it sounds like he's being eviscerated. I'd make the same noises and scream and yell if someone were pulling out my entrials.

This post was edited on 2009-03-30, 18:25 by NFG.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-04-06, 14:41 #52

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Along the road near our house there are large steel grates in the gutters where water drains. They're hinged and easily opened, and leave a shockingly dangerous metre-long hole if you don't remember to close them again.

Driving home last night JayJay was crouched next to one, holding it open with one hand and happily giving us a big old middle finger with the other.

I dunno what he was doing in the sewer. Fishing out a lost ball? Setting a trap? Burying a schoolchum? I should have asked.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-04-11, 08:20 #53

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This morning JayJay was screaming, as he always does, frantically enough to make one think there's a real possibility he's having his spleen removed with a fishhook. He ran out of the house seconds later, yelling "i'll fucking kill every fucking body in this house!"

Then, standing in the driveway where I can't see him for trees, he yells to the neighborhood "Everybody look at this! Call the fucking police!"

Silence for a few moments, then I see him run through their front gate and head off down the road. "RayRay did it, dad! RayRay did it!"

Dad is bellowing in response, but the only word I can make out is 'fuck'. Mom's quietly grunting in the background, no idea what she says, more or less ever.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-04-21, 10:01 #54

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Mowed the lawn a couple of days ago, and found enough neighborly love to open a small shop. I think the whiskey can came from a different neighbor - the same ones who repaired my fence and left the pieces of leftover wood in my yard...

[Image: /grafx/photos/Neighborly Love 2.jpg]

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(Administrator) 2009-05-20, 08:17 #55

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Haven't had much to report lately, the activity next door has been pretty much baseline screaming and nothing really noteworthy. Well, there was that time JayJay was buck naked and RayRay was sneaking into the house to find him some clothes 'cause the parents were raging at him...

But this morning was funny. JayJay's outside sneaking out one door and running around to the other where dad would burst out, bellowing like an enraged bear as he normally does, and JayJay would try the first door again. That also failed, so he tried the back door a second time, and I saw dad come out holding a blue coat or shirt, screaming at the top of his lungs "It's dirty! It's dirty! Look, right here, what's all this? It's dirty!" Of course he's screaming it as loud as possible, and with the Australian accent it sounds more like "It's duhhhdeeeee! It's duuhhhdeeee!"

JayJay screams incoherently at him and dad responds with "I'm going to rip it. I'm going to rip it. Look, I'm ripping it" and he goes through the motions, but I couldn't see if he was actually tearing it. JayJay was screaming as if his life was in the balance, "Fuck you! Fuck yoooou!"

Mom yells from inside the house for JayJay to come inside and prepare for the day's school, but of course it sounds like "JayJay get in heya raight nayo, and geyat riddy fa skyewel." Seconds later JayJay's screaming "Mom! Let me in! Let me in! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA <crying>"

Is it any wonder I'm always late for work?

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(Administrator) 2009-06-07, 09:26 #56

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JayJay apparently got kicked out this morning before he had a chance to eat breakfast. He's outside banging on the door so hard I can feel it through the walls in my house (and we're up the hill, some 15-20 metres away!). He's screaming over and over "let me iiiiin! Let me iiiin!" Occasionally he adds a please to the end, as if that'll change her mind. "It's my fucking house too, so fucking let me iiiin! Moooom!" and "I'm huuuungryyyy"

Then there's a moment's quiet as he dashes around to the back door, finds it locked too, and starts screaming and banging again. He made some very serious sounding threats at one point, which I couldn't make out, and mom stuck her head outside and told him to 'fuck oaf. I told you to fuck oaf before I chase you up the raowd."

I have a theory: His little mind is so underpowered he can only maintain a single thought at a time. When he wants inside, that's the most important thing in the world. It's a fucking crisis, he's gotta get in, gotta get in, <rage><scream><thrash> until he finds something else to concentrate on, and this change can be affected either by noticing something shiny, or by the rather forceful direction of his parents.

When he wants ice cream from the mobile truck, same thing: it's the end of the goddamned world as long as he can see or hear the truck. When he wanted to ride his dad's dirtbike, same thing: he would sit on it and try to start it (without a key no less) over and over no matter how many times dad tried to get him off it. When he's on the roof, attempting to jump onto the trampoline, it's the most important thing in the world that his parents come out and watch, so he screams and yells and cajoles until they come out, or until he gets bored.

He's finally given up trying to get back in the house, and sweet silence has descended upon the neighborhood again.

Until next time.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-06-15, 09:45 #57

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Another classic moment next door on Saturday morning.

Mom and dad were screaming at each other, dad in full retreat as he headed out the door, mom in assault mode harrassing him right out to the sidewalk as he drives away. It seems someone did something with dad's stuff, without permission. He was yelling "I don't care if you use it, but couldn't you fucking ask first?"

Mom's reply was as eloquent as you'd expect: "Fucking cunt! Fucking cunt! Get lost! We don't need you!"

This went back and forth a few times, dad saying (three times) "I'm going! I'm not coming back! I'm going! I'm not coming back!" and mom replying "faack you, ya facking caaant" etc.

The best moment, the most awesome, eye-tearingly fantastic thing came out of his mouth as he revved on up the street. He leaned out the window and shouted back to mom "Fuck you with a broom!"

Mom screamed back at him "Gaaahahakkckk!!"

Every time I replay that moment in my mind I laugh until tears come out. "With a broom!"

I love these people.

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-06-16, 09:23 #58

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Last night JayJay was locked out of the house again. He was bawling his eyes out, with gasping, choking instakes of breath between every bellow. Every time he'd scream something, he'd draw breath with a very loud hyew sound, and he must have done this forty, fifty times.

Keep in mind while reading this that he is screaming at the top of his lungs. If a normal person did this their larynx would fly out, it's so loud and raspy.

Quote by JayJay:
Let me iiiiin
hyew
Mooooooom
hyew
Dad! Where are you daaaad?
hyew
Mooooom
hyew
Let me iiiiiiin!!
hyew
I'm sooooorryyyyy!
hyew
I fucking hate you!
hyew
I'm gonna tell daddy!
hyew
Moooooom! Let me iiiiin!
hyew
I love you with all my heart!
hyew
I promise I'll never be naughty again!
hyew
Moooom!
hyew
Let me iiiin!

Then he started banging on the door as loud as he could, before resuming the wailing and screaming.

I just love how this is the end of the world for him. It's such a massive fucking emergency, there's just nothing else in his life but to be allowed back in the house NOW NOW NOW.

He has no sense of consequence at all. There doesn't seem to be any logical problem for him to follow up "I love you" with "you fucking cunt". It'd make a remarkable study for any psych student mad enough to get close to him. =)

NFG

(Administrator) 2009-06-28, 13:29 #59

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Overheard just now, mom yelling at dad:

Mom: Fuck off, ya cheating cunt. Fuck you, we don't need you here.

RayRay: <unintelligible>

Dad: Shut up RayRay

Things to know:

When mom speaks, she slurs her words, and drags out the vowels. She sounds like she's eternally drunk or high, or both.

When dad speaks he uses a very redneck strine accent, and - in the exchange above and many others - he snarls his words, barking them out like a dog in a fight. If you imagine him on all fours, snarling and snapping at his family shut up, RayRay, that's what he sounds like sometimes.

Kendrick 2009-06-29, 01:50 #60

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First, some background:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2006/oct/17/prisonsandp…

I know it's unlikely, but do you have any idea what sort of diet your neighbors consume? There's a growing body of evidence that minor malnutrition leads to aggressive and antisocial behavior, and that Guardian article is only the latest item that supports the assertion.

It's relevant to me because I had a real problem with my temper until I adjusted what I ate. Cutting out sugar was originally about reducing my cholesterol count, but once I started on Omega-3 oils there was a marked improvement in my ability to... well, be around other people. What's interesting is that the aggression doesn't appear override other human needs, which would explain how your neighbors can be so nasty to each other but still have a desire to stay together as a family.