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Subject: Life with NFG: A Game
Last night, without my intervention, the following Zork-like conversation erupted in #NFG:
<Steempy> You see a bald man wearing lycra shorts. His thighs are frighteningly dense. You also see: A PC Engine, a "Necronomicon" case for Saturn with no disc in it and pornography on the PC behind the man. You hear a clanging noise coming from the shorts and notice a slight blue glow. Exits are south, west, Dennis.
<stt> go west
<Steempy> You see a cute Japanese woman with a voice like a twelve year old girl and a number of boxes full of video game equipment. The woman is frowning at the boxes. There is a key for a pink scooter here. Exits are east, out, Dennis
<stt> take a key
<stt> take a cute Japanese woman
<stt> go out
<Steempy> You take the key. The Japanese woman frowns at you instead of the boxes, and calls for the alarmingly thighed man.
<Steempy> You try to take the woman, but she uses kung fu and kills you. The alarmingly thighed man laughs.
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit
<corpwicle> someone needs to save this conversation
<Steempy> ? DEVICE NOT PRESENT ERROR
<Steempy> WARNING: YOUR GAME WILL NOT BE SAVED
<Steempy> Do you wish to start again?
<stt> y
<Steempy> You are out front of a nondescript house in the suburbs. Parked in front is a pink scooter and a hideous French car. You see something in the mailbox. Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> look at the mailbox
<Steempy> The mailbox is a common model, but it has a Mutron painted on the side. Inside the mailbox is a bill for internet service and a package postmarked from Japan. Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> take a package
<Steempy> You take the package. It feels heavy, but you think you can hear something moving inside.
<stt> open the package
<Steempy> Inside the package is a complete set of Virtua Fighter CG Portrait CDs, a Hello Kitty vibrator, a note with "Suck it, NFG" written in Swedish and.. a giant killer Japanese beetle. It leaps on your neck and drains your blood. You die.
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit^2
My friends are awesome.
<Steempy> You see a bald man wearing lycra shorts. His thighs are frighteningly dense. You also see: A PC Engine, a "Necronomicon" case for Saturn with no disc in it and pornography on the PC behind the man. You hear a clanging noise coming from the shorts and notice a slight blue glow. Exits are south, west, Dennis.
<stt> go west
<Steempy> You see a cute Japanese woman with a voice like a twelve year old girl and a number of boxes full of video game equipment. The woman is frowning at the boxes. There is a key for a pink scooter here. Exits are east, out, Dennis
<stt> take a key
<stt> take a cute Japanese woman
<stt> go out
<Steempy> You take the key. The Japanese woman frowns at you instead of the boxes, and calls for the alarmingly thighed man.
<Steempy> You try to take the woman, but she uses kung fu and kills you. The alarmingly thighed man laughs.
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit
<corpwicle> someone needs to save this conversation
<Steempy> ? DEVICE NOT PRESENT ERROR
<Steempy> WARNING: YOUR GAME WILL NOT BE SAVED
<Steempy> Do you wish to start again?
<stt> y
<Steempy> You are out front of a nondescript house in the suburbs. Parked in front is a pink scooter and a hideous French car. You see something in the mailbox. Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> look at the mailbox
<Steempy> The mailbox is a common model, but it has a Mutron painted on the side. Inside the mailbox is a bill for internet service and a package postmarked from Japan. Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> take a package
<Steempy> You take the package. It feels heavy, but you think you can hear something moving inside.
<stt> open the package
<Steempy> Inside the package is a complete set of Virtua Fighter CG Portrait CDs, a Hello Kitty vibrator, a note with "Suck it, NFG" written in Swedish and.. a giant killer Japanese beetle. It leaps on your neck and drains your blood. You die.
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit^2
My friends are awesome.
![[Image: http://nfggames.com/system/arcade/special.php/b-d/bp-5/y-kof97/z-10/x-40C%20is%20too%20hot%20for%20humans./.png]](http://nfggames.com/system/arcade/special.php/b-d/bp-5/y-kof97/z-10/x-40C%20is%20too%20hot%20for%20humans./.png "http://nfggames.com/system/arcade/special.php/b-d/bp-5/y-kof97/z-10/x-40C%20is%20too%20hot%20for%20humans./.png")