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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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Subject: Life with NFG: A Game
Last night, without my intervention, the following Zork-like conversation erupted in #NFG:

<Steempy> You see a bald man wearing lycra shorts.  His thighs are frighteningly dense.  You also see: A PC Engine, a "Necronomicon" case for Saturn with no disc in it and pornography on the PC behind the man.  You hear a clanging noise coming from the shorts and notice a slight blue glow.  Exits are south, west, Dennis.
<stt> go west
<Steempy> You see a cute Japanese woman with a voice like a twelve year old girl and a number of boxes full of video game equipment.  The woman is frowning at the boxes.  There is a key for a pink scooter here.  Exits are east, out, Dennis
<stt> take a key
<stt> take a cute Japanese woman
<stt> go out
<Steempy> You take the key.  The Japanese woman frowns at you instead of the boxes, and calls for the alarmingly thighed man.
<Steempy> You try to take the woman, but she uses kung fu and kills you.  The alarmingly thighed man laughs. 
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit
<corpwicle> someone needs to save this conversation
<Steempy> Do you wish to start again?
<stt> y
<Steempy> You are out front of a nondescript house in the suburbs.  Parked in front is a pink scooter and a hideous French car.  You see something in the mailbox.  Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> look at the mailbox
<Steempy> The mailbox is a common model, but it has a Mutron painted on the side.  Inside the mailbox is a bill for internet service and a package postmarked from Japan.  Exits are front door, street, Dennis.
<stt> take a package
<Steempy> You take the package.  It feels heavy, but you think you can hear something moving inside.
<stt> open the package
<Steempy> Inside the package is a complete set of Virtua Fighter CG Portrait CDs, a Hello Kitty vibrator, a note with "Suck it, NFG" written in Swedish and.. a giant killer Japanese beetle.  It leaps on your neck and drains your blood.  You die.
<Steempy> GAME OVER
<stt> shit^2

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