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Author name #1
Member since Feb 2009 · 3 posts · Location: Brisbane
Group memberships: Citizens, Members, The Cabal
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Subject: Liars
You know what?  Lying has become a strong part of our culture.  If you don't like your boss, you smile to his face and fuck him up the back.  If you don't like your girlfriend, you don't tell her, you just stop sending messages.  Fighting people to their faces just doesn't happen, instad rumor mills and gossip starts up, so that the person disliked can be crushed without even knowing it, because after all, the people being gossiped about, never hear until last. 

If you don't want to go to work, you call in sick, if you've got a job interview, you sure as hell don't tell anyone. 

Oh dear, now all these terrible people are lying behind our backs, quick, further push the distrust and lies, start smashing them back too, or you'll get piled with all the work, or seen as the bad guy. 

Seriously, what the shit?  This culture we had here grew from trust and teamwork.  If no one wanted to lift a finger, and no one wanted to actually do any of the work, we'd be left with a supply of stock that is always going down, less people actually building stuff and eventually, everyone would be fighting to the death for the last loaf of bread. 

Surely, not everyone here is like this, but more and more we seem to be getting taught to lie and never to trust, less we become a chump or villian.  Do me a favor, see someone you dislike, tell them they suck and you hate them.  Got someone you're avoiding?  Ignoring their messages?  Tell them they're boring as watching paint dry, and that you don't want to be around them.  Sure sure, if you don't you'll have them on the bench, but how much would you like to be in the same spot.  Come now, you don't want them there, do you tell them this, or do you leave it to doubt, and still complain about them behind their back? 

I get a constant supply of people freaking out because they are left to presume that something incredibly vague and obscure is a personal attack.  I'll tell someone "Looking at these drawings makes me feel like I'm 17 again"  and have the person cry at me about how "Yes, they really are quite patronisingly easy"  When what I meant was that they make me reminiss a little about the old days where I was passionate about hand drawing. 

You get the idea anyway, anyone else getting this?
Author name (Administrator) #2
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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I think the problems you describe have less to do with lying, and more to do with an appalling lack of personal responsibility.  They're making up lies because they're greedy, lazy, stupid and generally self-centred chumps.  I'm less outraged by the lies they tell when they want a day off than the fact they think taking time off work for no reason is acceptable. 

Do me a favor, see someone you dislike, tell them they suck and you hate them.  Got someone you're avoiding?  Ignoring their messages?  Tell them they're boring as watching paint dry, and that you don't want to be around them.
I do this all the time.  I don't often hold back, life's too short to keep losers in your orbit.  I find too that when you tell someone flat-out what their faults are, they tend to change.

Also, I've learned you can tell anyone anything at all if you do it with a smile.  I regularly tell customers that they're retarded, and they laugh because I mean it wholeheartedly but I'm not mean about it.  They appreciate the kindness and the honesty.
BLEARGH
Author name #3
Member since Oct 2007 · 316 posts
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In reply to post #1
As the population goes up, more and more people are wandering around in a wounded state. So it's not your fault that they see malice in an offhand comment. On the other hand, it's not that much more effort to make sure you're understood correctly.

There's a popular theory that dominant language informs culture and morals. English, elegant and expansive as it is, can also be incredibly vague. By way of comparison, there's a South American culture whose name escapes me at the moment that doesn't take anything for granted. There's no grammar structure for "Bob killed the gorilla!" in their words and syntax. You can only say "I saw Bob kill the gorilla," or "Bob told me he killed the gorilla," or "Sue told me that Bob killed the gorilla." Every subject and object in their language is discrete and enumerated, and there's very little room for doubt and abstraction.

Imagine what our culture would be like with that limit on our language. We couldn't ever say "That's stupid," to anybody. We'd have to say "I think that's stupid," which would allow for disagreement in the absence of an absolute. I could bore you with more examples, but I want to mention before I forget it that the vagueness of English allows for philosophy and science to flourish. Doubt and abstraction are what allow us to send electrons flying across static wires and put rockets into the air with inert metals. So there's something of a trade off there.

Sorry, I'm not exactly addressing the concern you've expressed here. Instead of saying to somebody that they suck and they're boring? My instinct is to exercise a little bit of kindness. If it's not acceptable to just ignore their calls, why not say "I don't think I'm a very good friend to you. Our interests are different and I don't contribute to your fun." It communicates the same point without pissing on anybody, and it's just as truthful.

There's no need to bare your teeth for every circumstance. I like to save cruelty for when it's necessary, otherwise it dulls the edge.
Author name #4
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User title: Kitten Blaster
Member since Feb 2010 · 89 posts
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consider this thread exhumed!

i understand the "didnt want to hurt their feelings" lies or "i was too embarrassed to tell the truth" lies but there are a lot of people that lie for stupid and selfish reasons.  the WORST lies are half-truths aka "twisting the truth," because it's using the truth to tell a lie.  the worst thing is that the most common use for these are forwarding one's agenda and more often than not, it's governmental politics.

i dont do the two-faced thing because it's a lot of effort.  it's better to express one's dislike or just say nothing.

another type of lie that i hate is flattery.  i think it's an attempt to manipulate another person for personal gain.  even if it isnt, it's insulting as if i was unable to cope with the truth.


i keep it real! :-p
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