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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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Subject: I should be rich by now.
Today, I was emailed about a very lucrative offer.  The pitch was short:

Good day,

I am Shung Hin Hui, I have a business of $15.5 million for you contact me
for details.

Normally they put a little more effort into it.  I've won the BMW lottery once, the Netherlands lottery a few times, and even an Iceland lottery (which, I imagine, they regret now that their country is under a volcano).

I've received massive packages from UPS, USPS and even FedEx:

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmed Package that is registered with us for shipping to your residential location.We had thought that your sender gave you our contact details.It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to your package.However, we cannot quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons. We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $800,000.00 USD,

I love this part:

However, we cannot quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons. We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth of $800,000.00 USD,

The UK lottery:

Unclaimed Winnings:

In regards to the above subject, I, Barrister Barry White, Claims Supervisor for the United Kingdom Lottery Board (UKLB) wish to notify you through this e-mail that your case file has been re-opened.

You were selected as a winner in the UK INTERNATIONAL SWEEP STAKE, held on January 2008, but you never claimed the winnings due reasons best known to you.

So formal, Barry!

I, Barrister Barry White

And a brand new car!

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £3,000,000.00 and a brand new Peugeot 407 Car

These guys put a lot of work into my winnings:

Attn: Beneficiary

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigation with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of $850,000.00 US Dollars from a Lottery Company in the United Kingdom. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be authentic and paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check.

[...]

We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Legitimate, Safe and 100% risk free of scams and frauds of any nature,

[...]

The total amount for everything is $299.99 (Two Hundred & Ninety Nine United States Dollars & Ninety Nine Cents). We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $299.99 should be deducted from your winning prize but the funds have already been deposited at The Bank of America and cannot be accessed by anyone apart from you the winner.

Oooh, a cyber lotto draw!

Dear Internet User

We are pleased to inform you of the  results of our cyber lotto draw of  Lottery NL Promotional Draws. The online electronic-raffle draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 250,000 e-mail accounts picked by our Electronic Random Selection System (ERSS) from an exclusive list However, no tickets were sold.

This one's been in my inbox for a while...  Attention: Congratulations!

ATTENTION: CONGRATULATIONS!

RE: PRIZE/AWARD NOTIFICATION.

This is to inform you of the release of ASIAN INTERNATIONAL NATIONAL PROMOTIONS ORGANIZATION PRIZE DRAW, held on the 5th of April 2004, but owing to some mix up of numbers and addresses and the holidays, the  results were released on the 21st of De cember 2004.
BLEARGH
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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Good Day,

My name is Song Li. I work with the Hang Seng Bank. There is the sum of $19,500,000.00 in my bank "Hang Seng Bank", Hong Kong. There were no beneficiaries stated concerning these funds which mean no one would ever come forward to claim it. That is why I ask that we work together so as to have the sum transferred out of my bank into your account.

A tragic tale of loss:

Dear Sir/Ma,

I am the attorney and trustee my late client Mr. Christopher Foster. My late client deposited the sum of USD$24.2 Million  secretly in a private banking facility in Europe.

He had to do this secretly because he his business was going under and his associate wanted his business to go under so they can take over the business he owned and started. His creditors where already taking ownership of his properties. Unfortunately his wife wanted to leave him at that same time; his wife and only daughter died same day with him.
BLEARGH
Author name #3
User title: The X68k Experience!
Member since Apr 2010 · 4 posts · Location: San Diego, CA, United States of America
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Lucky, all I get are ads for penis pills :(
Like this one!
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      Effective way To Grow YourPenis 3"-4"
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         Give yourself 3"-4" Longer today!

http://quriqiboy.com
Am I cool yet?
Author name (Administrator) #4
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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The Nigerians are getting crafty.  I got one a couple of days ago that purports to be from the British High Commission, regarding a refund for a Nigerian scam.  A delightful bit of recursive storytelling there!

The British High Commission in Nigeria,Benin Republic,Ghana and Bokinafaso received a report of scam against you and other British/US citizens and Malaysia,Etc. whom the country of Nigeria/Benin,Bokinafaso And Ghana have recompensed you due to meeting held with Four countries Government and the world high commissions against fraud activities by the Four country Citizens.

I like the attempts to list enough countries to include the recipient's address.  Certainly they'd be better off including Canada or Australia instead of Malaysia though?

Your name was among those scammed as listed by the Nigeria Financial Intelligent Unit (NFIU).A compensation has been issued out in ATM DEBIT CARD to all the affected victims and has been already in distribution to all the bearers. Your ATM CARD was among those that was reported undelivered as at last Friday and we wish to advise you to see to the instructions of the Committee to make sure you receives your ATM CARD immediately for your usage.

Now it's a variation of the "We have your package, give us your details to deliver it!" scam. 

We advise that you do the needful to make sure the NFIU dispatches your recompense on Friday. You are assured of the safety of your ATM CARD and availability and be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you. Call me at:  Phone:+234 70 954 27 710. immediately to check if the delivery date suits you.

I am going to do the needful ASAP.  In fact, I'm gonna do it right now, brb.

...time passes...

Ah, sweet relief.  I love how they encourage me to stop working with the fake lawyers and security companies.  It's a bit like a virus that warns you about other viruses.  I don't know if that's a real phone number, but +234 is the country code for Nigeria.  Anyone game enough to call it?  =D

The mail closes with this:

Yours in Service,                
Agent:John Simmons
CONSULAR/DIPLOMAT
BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION
ABUJA, NIGERIA.
Website: http://ukinnigeria.fco.gov.uk/en

Linking to the real website is a nice touch.
BLEARGH
This post was edited on 2010-04-27, 11:10 by NFG.
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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Subject: Now the Russians want to make me rich!
I am Petrov Vladimir Razdukhov, I represent a top Government official supposedly dead here in Russia, I have a very sensitive and private brief from him to ask for your partnership to re-profile funds over $19,000,000.00 USD. I will give the details, but in summary, the fund is coming via a Security Company in Europe . This is a legitimate transaction but desire the highest CONFIDENTIALITY.

Bring it on, Razdukhov!
BLEARGH
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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I got hit by more spam today, but there was a new twist: the sender linked to a list of passengers killed in a plane crash on CNN.com, and claimed to be the widow of one passenger.

Before I move further, permit me to give you a little of my biography, I am Lady Rita Ratnavale, 78 Years old woman and the wife of Sir Ratnavale, Victor, dual citizen of Switzerland and Britain  who died in a Plane crash on Monday the 7th of September 1998 GMT 14:22 UK alongside with my daughter while they were flying from New York to Geneva. Please see site below for more information.

http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9809/swissair.victims.list/index.…

Clever, if a bit ghoulish.
BLEARGH
Author name #7
Member since May 2009 · 5 posts · Location: Cairns
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Found this rather delightful one in my Inbox today. I thought it was wonderful how she said she was from an African country, but had a '@yahoo.co.jp' email address.

From Mrs Fatima farah
 
Dear God's elect,
 
I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart,My Name is Mr's Fatima Farah.and am contacting you from my country Tunisia I want to tell you this because i don't have any other option than to tell you as i was touched to open up to you,I am married to Mr  Toyo Farah who worked with Tunisia embassy in Burkina Faso for nine years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for eleven years without a child.He died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days.Since his death I decided not to remarry,When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$ 8.2m(Eight million two hundred thousand US dollars)in a bank in Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina Faso in west Africa Presently this money is still in bank.He made this money available for exportation of Gold from Burkina Faso mining.
 
Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the period of seven months due to cancer problem.The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness.Having known my condition I decided to hand you over this money to take care of the less-privileged people, you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.I want you to take 30 Percent of the total money for your personal use While 70% of the money will go to charity" people in the street and helping the orphanage.I grew up as an Orphan and i don't have anybody as my family member,just to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. am doing this so that God will forgive my sins and accept my soul because this sickness have suffered me so much. As soon as i receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank in Burkina Faso and I will also instruct my lawyer to issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of the money in the bank, that is if you assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.
 
Hoping to receive your reply.
Mr's Fatima farah

With only seven months to live, this offer won't last!
Author name #8
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Member since Sep 2007 · 176 posts · Location: Kobe, Japan
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I love the simplicity of this one I got Yesterday:
(subject) Your Email ID has won £1,000,000.00 in the Telecom Promo. send:
(content)
Name.
Address.
Tel.

Thanks "BT" <djwhit@sbcglobal.net> I could really do with £1,000,000.00!!
“Be conservative in what you do; be liberal in what you accept from others.” J. Postel
Author name (Administrator) #9
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Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
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That's awesome, I love the purity of it.  Ogg have money for you.  Give ogg details.

I got this one three times in the last few days:

I am a Diplomat named Jones Hammer mandated to deliver your inheritance to you in your country of residence.

The funds total US$7.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with the benefactor when he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you.

I am presently at JFK Airport in the United States of America and before I can deliver the funds to you, you have to reconfirm the following information so as to ensure that I am dealing with the right person

The second paragraph is remarkably fun to read.  There is money from a guy and you will know the guy when you get the money as I agreed with the guy when he asked me to get the money to you.  I'm tingling with anticipation.
BLEARGH
Author name #10
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Member since Sep 2007 · 176 posts · Location: Kobe, Japan
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Thread reanimation!!!

I have just been asked to be part of "100% risk free", "Totaly Legitimate"...Fraud...
Dear Sir,
 
I am Mr.  Martin Guy; I work with a reputable firm as an account officer in the Treasury/Credit Control Unit. I was mandated to look for a Shareholder relative who  died, to enable him family claim his inheritance estate.
 
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the assets and Capital valued at $24,540,000.00 Million US Dollars (Twenty Four Million, Five Hundred and Forty Thousand United States Only) left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the share holders of this Company, so that they can share his funds as dividends amongst themselves.
 
The Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next fourteen official working days, because as at the time of his demise I was his accounting officer, but have since been promoted to the position of Treasury/Credit Control Unit, ever since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for some time now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the proceeds of his account can be paid to you, it does not matter if you are direct or indirect relative. Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss modalities for transfer.
 
As soon as I receive an acknowledgment of your acceptance, I will furnish you with the necessary modalities of the transaction. I assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free, and as soon as we succeed in getting this funds to your account, The money will be shared on a 50, 50 basis............... I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
 
I am waiting to hear from you soon. Reply me through.  martinguy02@yahoo.com.hk
 
 
Best regards,
 
Martin Guy
“Be conservative in what you do; be liberal in what you accept from others.” J. Postel
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