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Subject: Separating the message from the person
David Dayton knows a lot about China. In a recent post he said:
My initial reaction was that this was, yet again, another example of childish behaviour by the Chinese. In my experience it's children who conflate message with messenger, who take it personally when someone criticizes their work, etc. Adults (not all of them, sadly) don't do this: a well adjusted person can understand the difference between criticism and personal attacks.
But then I got to wondering if this separation really is a good thing. I can see it going both ways: on the surface of it, there's a real benefit to separating them. A friend of mine once told me that he really values the way he and I can argue hammer and tongs about any topic, and still be friends when the steam stops pouring out our ears. I do too.
On the other hand, it seems that this sort of thing might lead to people being more easily able to say I'm not a bad person, but I say bad things. Consider a politician who runs over personal freedoms while still believing, inside, that he's a good person. Might the Chinese habit of attaching message to person result in people more likely to act in concordance with their personal principles? If everyone gives you shit because you work for a bad company or bring bad news, it might make you think twice about continuing to do those things.
So now I wonder which one is better.
Other reading: The Official China Thread
Quote by David Dayton:The most difficult thing about Chinese culture for many foreigners here is the reality that you don’t know when you’ve crossed the line and offended someone that will not forgive you. Maybe it’s because there is not a defined line for every person/situation. Maybe it’s because I’m a foreigner and I just can’t tell you where that line is. My rule is this: separate the argument from the people. Again, Chinese DO NOT do this.
My initial reaction was that this was, yet again, another example of childish behaviour by the Chinese. In my experience it's children who conflate message with messenger, who take it personally when someone criticizes their work, etc. Adults (not all of them, sadly) don't do this: a well adjusted person can understand the difference between criticism and personal attacks.
But then I got to wondering if this separation really is a good thing. I can see it going both ways: on the surface of it, there's a real benefit to separating them. A friend of mine once told me that he really values the way he and I can argue hammer and tongs about any topic, and still be friends when the steam stops pouring out our ears. I do too.
On the other hand, it seems that this sort of thing might lead to people being more easily able to say I'm not a bad person, but I say bad things. Consider a politician who runs over personal freedoms while still believing, inside, that he's a good person. Might the Chinese habit of attaching message to person result in people more likely to act in concordance with their personal principles? If everyone gives you shit because you work for a bad company or bring bad news, it might make you think twice about continuing to do those things.
So now I wonder which one is better.
Other reading: The Official China Thread
BLEARGH
