First topic is:
Why my phone rocks.
The simple reason behind why my phone rocks is that it is old. It's a Nokia 2100 (I think... been so long since i got it) and it doesn't break. Ever. The battery is getting a little old, but I charge it regularly enough for that not to be a problem. It's a fairly decent size for its age, fits quite comfortably in my pocket, feels like I'm actually holding it when I'm talking, and I'm not worried I'll snap it like a twig. The case seems to be made out of something completely indestructable (I suggest they start making everything out of it), so nothing inside ever gets damaged. It has a black and white screen, monotone ringtones, no camera, no web access, no fancy anything! That means that nothing on it is likely to break. Therefore it is awesome.
You may now all feel ashamed of your crap phones.