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AKA: Inventorying my neighbor's garbage
NFG (Administrator) #1
Member since May 2011 · 2485 posts · Location: Brisbane
Group memberships: Administrators, Members
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Subject: Mowing the Lawn
So I mowed the lawn on Saturday.  As always it was an adventure in garbage control.  You see, my feral neighbors throw their shit over the fence all the time.  The last two times I mowed what is in essence a proto-jungle, I found buried in the grass:

A basketball, tennis racket, diaper, 3 empty bags of chips, seven empty tubes of skin and hair products, an axe handle, scissors, two matchbox cars, a diver toy from a fishtank, 4 odd lengths of random plastic/rubber tube, a tennis ball, 300 flyers from a bedding shop, two planks of wood, a piece of aluminum tube, some bricks, a coat hanger and - I shit you not - 7 empty lighters.  And four 750ml XXXX beer bottles, and two bottles of Tooheys.

Guess who's never gonna see their tennis racket and basketball again?

Oh, and the time before this when I had someone mow the lawn for me?

Four hubcabs.

I hung them on the fence thinking maybe they'd want those back, but they ended up in the grass again a few hours later.

Junpei #2
Member since Sep 2007 · 176 posts · Location: Kobe, Japan
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strange neighbours you got there..then again, the fact that they drink XXXX and Tooheys says it all!
my next door neighbour i a house hold of semi invalid retierees, so needless to say their garden is abit of a mess, more interstengly though, regardless of what tiem of day/night i wander into my garden one of them will be awake and watchign tv or similar (this includes ridiculous hours of the morning) last night i went outside at about 12 and there was not a single light on next door..freaked me right out! XD
yay for insomniac retierees!
“Be conservative in what you do; be liberal in what you accept from others.” J. Postel
Samurai Josh #3
Member since Oct 2007 · 30 posts · Location: Canberra
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I would mow the lawn soo much more often if my lawn mower had a periscope on it! :D It'd be a challenge to get me inside.
Vertigo #4
Member since Nov 2007 · 121 posts
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Sounds like you need to get them moved along tbh.

The dickwits downstairs from us are a weird pair. They make far too much noise, mainly down to the male being slightly deaf, but after what seems to be 25 or so years you'd have thought he'd figure out what a normal level of speech is or would have been told by someone, but no, he's loud at all hours, and I mean ALL. The female works for a very large media company and likes karaoke. They both seem to come home at varying hours, sometimes they're in by 6, other times one is home but the other comes home after 10, more often than not they're both out until late, most days of the week including school nights. When they are in they get short-term visitors 2 or 3 times a week, which to me is indicative of drug dealer behaviour but hey, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say they probably just lend their DVDs out to mates a lot or something. They also regularly have LOUD people stay over, which again isn't really ideal for us as we can't survive on 3 hours sleep a night. We've made a complaint to the landlord but after an exchange of letters the quiet lasted all of a week. They've also managed to crack a double-glazed window on the inside, which is nigh on impossible unless you really go at it with something big. Hell, people have been reported to burn to death because they couldn't shatter double glazing with chairs and such.
At night you just get comfortable and are happy in the silence, drifting off to sleep around 1130 then they come in crashing and banging around and having loud conversations, so it puts you on edge again and don't end up getting to sleep until around 1. Thankfully on the occasions when they have sex (yes, we can hear that too) it only lasts about 5 minutes, but we really don't want to hear it. It sounds like the scene in Spaced when Daisy and Tim are pretending to have sex, then deaf boy goes AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRHHHHHHHH and it's all over thank christ.
We had hoped that when their contract was due about a month ago they'd have been asked to move along but sadly this doesn't seem to be the case. All we can hope for is that they split up or she gets pregnant so that they have no choice but to move. They're not nearly as bad as some neighbours we could imagine, but this is a fairly expensive area and for this amount of rent we expect to be able to get some sleep. We hate them. They are and inconsiderate, annoying pair of tossers.
"...either stop and think or fuck right off" (TheOutrider)
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